Friday, March 4, 2011

Yikes! So excited!!

I got new needles!! And not just any new needles, I got KnitPicks Harmony Wood interchangeable circulars!! A very dear girlfriend had given me a gift certificate and voila!! (Btw, Nancy from The Yarn Lady in Lake Forest is a dream and makes me feel like a cherished member of the club each time I go in - thank you for your help!  If you're a knitter and live in Orange County, definitely stop by to see her and the fabulous store!  http://www.yarnlady.com/

Yeehaa! I’ve already switched my two wrap projects to the new needles and they are amazing!! I can’t get over how flexible the cable is and how sharp the points are. This will get my needle speed up!! And they’re beautiful with just the right contrast of grabby for control and slippery so I don’t get going too tightly… Can you tell how excited I am?! My husband thinks he now knows how to get me out of my doldrums - get me knitting supplies! Right on the money - they last longer than pedicures (but wouldn’t they be great too!) and possibilities of what to use them for are endless! My next goal is to find a knitting group closer than Lake Forest. I’d love to find others to get together and learn from!

Earlier this morning I had a meeting with my psychiatrist. She is wonderful!!. So down to earth and positive!! Her energy is infectious and she always makes me feel that I am MUCH too hard on myself. Phew!! Together, she and my therapist (and ME…and my husband…and friends - it takes a village!) should be able to keep any more breakdowns from happening!!


I’m actually pretty thankful for the breakdown, surprisingly enough. I’ve learned so much since then! It’s like a delineation in time - Before Breakdown (BB) and After Breakdown (AB). I refer to almost everything in that way these days. *BB* I was crazy hiding behind a normal, happy exterior. *AB* I’m still crazy but working on it and out of the closet shall we say… And for those of you wondering, no I’m not “crazy” really, just have a severe problem with depression and my breakdown (actually 2 within one week) culminated with me in the hospital… Fun times! But hey, if it helps to be better and more available in the future, then I am a big fan!

What’s funny is, the more people I tell about my lapse in sanity, the less stigma I feel attached to it. It seems that many people have had similar experiences, they’re just not as open to sharing as I am. I think maybe that’s my gift - I get people to talk about things they normally might hide. Airing it out is healing - it lets you know you’re not alone (in my opinion anyway). What do you think? And to be clear, I don’t pry info out of people, but I find that by being open and honest about myself, I “allow” friends to do the same. Isn’t that beautiful?

Speaking of friends… “Friends are family we choose for ourselves” is a quote I heard somewhere - and if you happen to know who to attribute this to, please educate me. Is that not the most beautiful quote? This has particular significance for me since I live in Southern CA and my husband’s and my family all are an 8-hour car trip away in the Bay Area. Sigh…I miss them!! But the friends I have made in my new home have in many ways filled the void I was feeling. I have friends who are open to talk to, to play with, to party with (on occasion), who have offered to watch my kids so I can have surgery, go on a date with my husband and even friends who worked out for themselves who would take Siena when my son was born. They truly are family - I am so blessed!

To continue with this tangent-laden post…I’m making carnitas for dinner. I went to put the pork shoulder in the crockpot and noticed that it says, it is a “pork shoulder arm picnic.” Arm picnic? What the hell is an arm picnic?! Lol

More later. Must get the kids down for nap. Adios!

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